Urban Parenting Tips for Young Moms, Dads and Grandparents By Edye Deloch-Hughes

Archive for the ‘Education’ Category

We’ve Moved. Check us out at Chicagonow.com!!!

Just in case you didn’t know, I accepted an invitation to write for ChicagoNow. I’m excited. Here is my new link: http://chicagonow.com/raising-hell-or-raise-them-well. If you would like to read previous posts, simply scroll down. BTW, don’t forget to  subscribe (or resubscribe)  and  “Like” my “Raising Hell or Raise Them Well” community page on Facebook.

Also visit my new blog, “Trending Over 40”  Trendingover40.com.  I explore social media, trends and how my over 40 and social-media challenged peers fit in. Any questions, write me at,  Trendingover40@gmail.com. Oh! please  “like” my Trending Over 40 Facebook page too!

Blessings,

Edye

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Do like Michelle Obama: LET’S MOVE to end obesity (video)

Our first Lady Michelle Obama recently launched the Let’s Move program to combat the epidemic of obesity among children, adults and families.  Our kids are spending more time on the computer and playing video games than being physically active. Raise your kids well by encouraging  them to move. Enroll your children in sports or other activities in your community. If they’re stuck on video games, buy a Wii or XBox Kinect system which has awesome dance videos.  Get up and dance with your kids. We parents could stand to shake our groove things too.  Mrs. Obama has some smooth moves herself. Check her out!

How do you keep your kids (and yourself)  moving?

Does your son think sag means swag? Sagging pants outlawed in Florida schools.

Dear Edye,

I just read that Florida passed a bill outlawing sagging jeans in their schools. I, being a son and a father, feel that it is just a style. That people should wear whatever they want.  Women have more leniency in their clothing. They wear short skirts, no bra straps. no underwear, etc. But men have more restrictions. It’s just a style. I don’t choose to wear it. But I won’t outlaw others who want to.

Signed,

Dad Who Doesn’t Sag (Not by law, by choice)

Dear Dad,

Some people think the new Florida bill is a long time coming and should spread throughout the U.S.. Others like you,  think it’s a violation of a person’s rights; and that it targets young black males. Personally, I can’t stand the style.  The look originated in prisons when belts were forbidden for fear of suicide attempts. It spread into the streets.  I also heard that it was a sexual invitation to other men.

Bill passes prohibiting sagging pants in Florida schools

Am I glad such a law exists? Hesitantly, I say yes, because of the blatantly negative and vulgar image it gives. One young black male said to me, “I think the Florida law is good. Nobody should wear sagging pants because it’s tacky.” The goal is to create an environment of learning and readiness, which this dress style does not convey.  On the other hand, Florida’s anti-sagging bill could open the door for restrictions that may infringe on other rights.

We as parents should not let the law do what we should be doing at home. We should be teaching values, pride and respect. Lack of parental guidance and moral upbringing is, in my opinion, raising hell.  Because of the lack of training, some of us parents allow our sons and daughters to sink into the abyss of indecency. It’s reflected in how they dress and conduct themselves in public. Even some parents need to check what messages they send by how they dress and act.

Somehow, we have accepted this “do what you feel” philosophy into our culture as normal. Speaking of culture,  Hip hop has many cool points in my book, however this so-called “sag swag” ain’t one of them.  Let me also say, though many young African-American males sport the saggy pants style, there are whites and other nonblacks who wear it as well.

It will be interesting to see the response to Florida’s new bill. The NAACP and ACLU are against it  for the reasons I mentioned above. What do you think? Should sagging pants be against the law?

Here’s a video bonus “Pull Ya Pantz Up” rap

A “no-show” at your child’s school functions?

Before I get to our topic, let me introduce myself. My name is Edye. I’ve made my living as an ad professional but I’ve lived my life as a mother of two sons, and now “G-ma” to my two grandsons. My hubby Darryl and I have gone through our parenting challenges with much pleasure and pain. I’m relieved to say, the boys, now in their twenties, turned out “aight”. Young parents today are going through some stuff, e.g. family conflict and lack of support, baby daddy/mama drama, school, job and money issues, drugs, abuse and more. There is no longer a sense of community support and guidance like it was back in the day. So many parents are raising more hell than raising their kids well. But I figure, if you know better, you’ll do better. Maybe that’s why young moms and dads come to me for advice. My blog gives you a slice of what raising hell versus raising your kids well looks like (see video below) .  It’s all my opinion – my perspective. Agree or disagree. Add suggestions. Ask a question. I’d like to feature it in my next post.  With that said, on to our question:

Dear Edye,

“I’m a single parent. I work long hours and come home tired. The last thing I feel like doing is going up to my son’s school for Parent/Teacher’s Night, PTO meetings – whatever. Some parents work hard for a living. I just don’t have the time.  Am I raising hell?” – “Tired Mom”, Chicago, Illinois

Raising Hell…

Raise Them Well…

Raising a Point…

It’s rough working long hours  and dealing with your child’s school obligations too. I feel you. I’ve been there.  But if you don’t show up, your child may show out. Research shows, students do better in school if parents are involved in their learning. No-shows can include not being available to help with homework, volunteering at school, attending student’s special events, as well as parent-school functions. Some teachers invest less time with kids whose parents are no-shows. Some kids invest less time in their studies when their parents are no-shows.   Low performance gone unchecked can lead to frustration, lack of confidence, low self esteem and negative behavior. That’s raising hell.

Quick Tips:

  • Arrange ahead of time with your employer to leave early or have that day off to attend a school function or event. That means reading the flyer and marking the dates ahead of time.
  • If you absolutely can’t make it to the Parent/Teachers conferences and school meetings, schedule to meet the teacher at a later date, then show up.
  • Develop a partnership with teachers. Exchange emails and phone numbers. Communicate regularly.
  • For parent homework support, attend parent homework workshops or talk to the teacher for help.

When you show your face in the place, you show you care. And your child feels more motivated to learn. That’s raising them well.

Like I said,  hit me back with your opinions, suggestions and critique. Or if you want to raise an issue or question, that’s cool too. It may end up in my “Raising Hell or Raise Them Well” series, which I’m making into a book.

Disclaimer: Don’t be alarmed by my weird mixed race, robotic, Lego-like characters. I am experimenting with different visuals. I’m open to suggestions.